What Is Elegance? Understanding the Role of Manners and Etiquette
What is Elegance?
Elegance is the quality of being graceful, stylish, and tasteful in appearance or manner. It involves simplicity, refinement, and sophistication in both outward demeanor and inner character.
What are Manners?
Manners are the foundation in which the intention behind our actions are to put others at ease, to avoid bothering nor embarassing others, and often times, they mean putting others needs before your own. Good manners are inclusive and selfless.
What is Etiquette?
The word “etiquette” in French means “ticket” or “warning signs.” Etiquette refers to an established set of rules set by given society. Etiquette fluctuates and adapts given it’s geographical context, socio-economic status, and religious / cultural beliefs.
What Does Etiquette Mean Today?
Comparing etiquette from the aristocracy to modern-day, you’re going to find how much ettiquette have evovled.
Back in the day, etiquette was crucial and essential for people because it could make a difference between life and death or financial stability or none – today, it is more about adaptability given any circumsance, coming across as prepared and capable during important moments or helping to make meaningful connections with others, be it making friends or landing a job.
In the very beginning, Etiquette was deemed to be a tool for intimidation and separation. Today, etiquette is the complete opposite. Modern Etiquette is about learning to still find use and value in the rules once established centuries ago, yet reframing them for needs in todays world. With a powerful and positive mindest-shift around etiquette, we can now especially use and adapt etiquette to our mote digitized world.
The real issue with etiquette today is how outdated and daunting it sounds. We live in a society which feels so fast-paced and divided, it’s so difficult to keep track of the new normal, and what’s deemed ‘polite’ or ‘impolite’ – mainly because with the advent of the internet, it changes every day. With the ever increasing digital world, and the countless hours spent online during our daily life, we have lost touch with our social graces. Face to face interactions, small gestures of appreciation, and correct deportment have become a lost art. Some might say etiquette is more important today than it ever was before.
That is especially true when it comes to communicating with people from different cultures, backgrounds, and belief systems – sometimes in situations we can’t prepare for. …No quick referencing Google in the heat of the moment.
If you ever thought good manners were a thing of the past, consider this little piece of Emily Post wisdom:
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
“ Traditional etiquette, with it’s subtle nuance and time-honoured forms, is seen by some as at best quaint and charming, at worst ridiculous and snobbish.
To these detractors I suggest that manners and etiquette, like language and fashion, are a fundamental means of communication and self expression. And, as with language and fashion, manners and etiquette adapt effortlessly to social change….
Good manners are purely and simply a way of showing consideration and sesitivity towards others. As such, they are classless. Everyone deserves kindness and respect…”
-Debrett’s New Guide to Etiquette and Modenr Manners by John Morgan (1996)
